How scary is the fear?
Alicia was a brave, single, beautiful mother. Only one thing could scare her. But that thing wasn’t an ordinary fear of spiders. It was worse than feeling a cold gun on her temple, worse than being buried alive. It was the fear of hearing that something bad happens to her daughter. She couldn’t handle it. The fear was made out of solid cement. It didn’t let her think or sleep or enjoy a simple cup of coffee. It was kind of a primitive animal feeling. “Keep your descendants alive” But she didn’t have one of those. She had something colossal. A daughter. Her daughter. Her only reason to live and her only reason to kill.
Although she had absorbed the fear for life at home, she didn’t want the same for her daughter and so, she made sure her child could have the freedom she had never got. Then, the crisis came to the unsinkable Spain and made the employment dropped to the devil’s living room. Spain sunk. Many families were struggling to survive with one or none salaries and most of young people left the sun behind to get a job abroad. Her daughter was one of those. But here, Alicia didn’t have the control. Anyway, she supported her girl with everything she had and everything she hadn’t. It was hard to support “her progeny living thousands of miles away” but she preferred her daughter’s prosperity than having a good night sleep. Alicia has been living like this for three years according to the occidental calendar. That is three hundred years for her. Her thoughts had been already in New York, Virginia or Inverness
“I’m going to Vietnam,” her daughter texted her from Scotland.
And her breathing stopped for 3 seconds. “What?” She got upset because she wanted to be selfish this time and for once, enjoying her cup of coffee without worries.
“Would you be happier if I don’t go? Even if I tell you I won’t be happy?
The fear was there, shaking her body and grabbing her ankles from behind. She has always wanted the happiness for her daughter but now, she rather wanted her to be safe than happy.
“Ok, I will stay home forever so nothing happens, then,” her daughter blurted out.
“We better leave it here. I’m going to take a nap. I’m exhausted.”
“Ok, I’m going to buy the tickets.”
They shut down their computers and switch on their frustration. Alicia never took the nap and her daughter never bought the ticket. After a few hours, Alicia jumped into the den and dare to live despite the fear.
– “Thing, (she used to call her daughter like that). I already got used to the idea. So… go ahead!!! I don’t know what it’s going to happen and the only thing I want is to know that you are ok. This is not going to avoid my worries but I guess, if I weren’t worried I wouldn’t be a mother! I love you”